When I was 17… (inspired by MTV When I was 17)
Blog inspired by MTV show, “When I was 17” for celebrities flashbacks… Here’s a link to the show.
When I was 17 in 2005, in the 1st quarter of the year, I was with a guy named, Ridzwan. We met at Jalan Minyak 4th Floor where there’s a basketball court, where I used to live with my mum.
We were just a group of guys & girls chilling together for almost 2 years but somehow in 2005, we were together but only for 3months. We are different in many ways but things get along pretty well initially. We met almost everyday and well, I just didn’t want to lose him. You know, that teenage feeling of afraid of losing someone you love? Hahakzx.
I spent my 2nd quarter of the year skipping school. Seriously, I’ve never done so in my life. It’s like it’s just wasn’t me at all. When at that moment, it was the crucial part of my life! It’s the year of my ‘O’ level exams coming up in the 3rd Quarter, yet here I am, almost skipping school for about 2 months! Ok, I can’t believe I did just that back then. Blame it on the love and the ‘I can’t wait to grow’ symptom!
Honestly, I did that cause I was giving up. It’s the year I tried to commit suicide from the 20th storey at Redhill newest flat but managed to hold on to my own pride when images of my grandparents played in my mind. They are the ones I loved most, whom I have been holding on to when things gets swayed. They were my guardian angels who never once stop loving me as their granddaughter and has been the best idol in the years I’ve grown into. Thanks to them, it makes me want to live my life.
Committing suicide was never attempted again since then. I tried hard and keep pushing myself even when things gets harder. I keep telling myself that I can do it, that I can do better, I’ve got the potential to break away from the shell I’ve build that makes me scared of the world.
I braced myself and went back to school in the last 2nd quad to the 3rd quad of the year and finally took my ‘O’ level exam with much confidence. I dropped art subject because I know I’m able to portray my life image in all my drawings and of which I hate doing it to make people notice. And I’m thankful to my 2 girlfriends who never fail to keep me motivated in every way.
Here’s a picture of us in class & another while awaiting for extra class.
Well, exams are over, results was out and YAY!! Thank God! I did pretty well but not amazing though. If only I hadn’t skip school, if only I hadn’t dropped art, if only I was focused, I could have done greater than this! But oh well, what’s happened can’t be undone right?
4th quarter of the year was the best! Results & prom night & was single!! My 1st prom night was at Pan Pacific Hotel. Bought a dress (was actually a skirt) that cost $48/- from M)phosis which then i used as a skirt now… ^_^ & had my 4th job as a sales promoter in LS Apparel under Renoma brand for men’s business shirt & had wished for a chinese / ang moh boyfriend!
My favourite songs in 2005 are:
- We Belong Together by Mariah Carey
- Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
- You & Me by Lifehouse
- Let Me Hold you by Bow Wow & Omarion
- Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down
- Photograph by Nickelback
- Lonely by Akon
- Collide by Howie Day
- Wake Me Up When September Ends by Greenday
- Over & Over by Nelly and Tim McGraw
- Karma by Alicia Keys
- My Boo by Alicia Keys &Usher
- Mocking Bird by Eminem
- She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5
- Incomplete by Backstreet Boys
- Goin’ Crazy by Natalie
- Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
- Cool by Gwen Stefani
- These Words by Natasha Bedingfield
- Don’t Lie by The Black Eyed Peas
- Lose My Breath by Destiny’s Child
- We Be Burnin by Sean Paul
- True by Ryan Cabrera
- Numb / Encore by Jay-Z & Linkin’ Park
Fuuhhh… Wow, such a long list!! But the song which I keep listening to everyday which makes me smile would be “Let Me Hold You by Bow Wow!” & the song that will keep playing on my mp3 before I listen to other songs would be “Photograph by Nickelback” & “Because of You by Kelly Clarkson”.
What about you?… ^_^ ♥